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Co-Parenting Episode 2 Excitement mounts!

Feb 17, 2021: 

Our co-parenting couple move ahead with their plans.


Annie and Rupert have been in close contact recently, they have been discussing names, nursery decoration , looking at tiny clothes, cooing and ahhhhing at the smallness of them all. 

Catherine was watching the excitement of the prospect of a baby somewhat from the side-lines.  She was very torn between being swept away with Annie’s excitement and exuberant happiness, and concern that it was all moving far too quickly. 

Rupert had come over to theirs for dinner to give everyone a chance to talk it all through, but because there was an initial awkwardness, the dinner was supplemented by quite a good amount of wine.  The wine certainly helped the awkwardness, but it did seem to make the evening a little blurry around the edges.  The next day it wasn’t 100% clear that the friends had really discussed the important aspects of co-parenting.  But by then it seemed like a done deal, no going back now. 

Catherine reassured herself that they were all very good friends who had supported each other through many of life’s trials, so surely that’s a great foundation for parenting together.


TMFLC says….

The prospect of becoming a parent can be extremely exciting. There is so much to look forward to and it’s human nature to focus on the positive within the unknown, rather than any difficult issues or challenges.

But it’s at this stage that it’s timely to take a very measured approach.  To properly explore and discuss the minutiae of what you are considering.  In this situation, with a known donor, it is imperative that everyone is clear of what roles they will take and how those roles will intersect.  For example, will the known donor take a role in actively parenting if there is a successful pregnancy?  If so what will that role be?  How about the pregnancy itself, what method of conception will be used? Who will be there when the baby is born? This area is a minefield to be carefully navigated and prepared. 

We feel that a very carefully considered co-parenting agreement is the best foundation for success.  A good practitioner will take you through a number of searching questions, either as a group or separately as you see fit. What is important is that everyone is candid and frank, expressing what they want from the proposed arrangement.  A known donor should be advised to seek their own independent legal advice, so that they can be sure that the proposed agreement caters to their needs.

At the end of that initial process, all of the parties should have a road map which will inform every aspect of the foreseeable future.  This allows everyone to plan accordingly, for financial arrangements to be made, if needed, wills to be written or indeed rewritten. 

It also sets very clear boundaries for everyone concerned.  This is hugely important, to creating a cohesive, honest, well thought out,  co-parenting arrangement. One of the biggest problems that we see for co-parents is where there is insufficient consideration for what will happen if a successful pregnancy ensues, or indeed if no pregnancy ensues. Both outcomes are rife with emotive considerations and can lead to discord in a previously happy arrangement.  

A good co-parenting agreement is no small undertaking. At The Modern Family Law Company we  have a great deal of experience in what works for co-parents.

A co-parenting is not legally binding in terms of arrangements for any child/children in the future.  If everyone is in agreement then there is no problem, the agreement can be followed. If there is a disagreement that ends up in court, the  decision will be made about what is in the best interests of the child, which may not always be the same as the agreement says. However, the agreement is very important evidence for the court as to what the parties agreed at the time. That’s why you need to consult an expert.

If you would like to talk to a specialist solicitor, please click here to make an appointment for a free consultation. 

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